From the playground to politics, it seems bullying exists everywhere these days. As adults, we’ve become somewhat numb to the大量贬低评论我们在新闻或社交媒体上听到并看到，但是当您发现孩子已经成为目标时，没有什么能像刺耳的声音一样。您的孩子现在不是享受童年时代和特殊性，而是五分之一的美国学生谁是欺凌的受害者。
Unfortunately, bullying isn’t something that will just magically go away or something your child can handle on their own. Even if you’re unsure whether your child is being bullied or not, your participation is crucial in helping your child navigate these difficult times.
Why do children bully others?
First to understand why children bully, it’s helpful to know what bullying is.
“欺凌是一种故意，进取和反复的行为，会产生真正或感知的权力或力量的失衡，”与执业精神病医师Adeola Adelayo医学博士说。横幅行为健康医院。“欺凌可以采取很多形式，从身体，言语和情感到甚至网络欺凌。”
当被问及为什么孩子欺负时，阿德莱博博士说，这通常是自尊或学到的行为的结果。他们可能在家中缺乏关注，甚至不受年龄较大的兄弟姐妹或父母的欺负。
“At earlier ages, say preschool to third grade, it’s just a bossy kid who may not realize how their behavior is affecting others or the child may be seeking attention, whether good or bad,” Dr. Adelayo said. “As you get to middle and high school ages, children are able to recognize social cues and how their behaviors affect others. The bullying behaviors become deliberate in an effort to exert power and control. Often they don’t even realize how wrong their behaviors are or how it makes others feel.”
What signs of bullying should I look out for?
Don’t be surprised if your child doesn’t come right out and let you know they’re being bullied. Kids often hide the fact that they’re being bullied. They may feel helpless or humiliated and don’t want anyone to know, or they may want to try and handle it on their own. Younger children especially, may not even realize they are being bullied.
“Elementary-aged kids are still learning how to make friends,” Dr. Adelayo said. “They may like being around the bully but just know sometimes this person really doesn’t make them feel good.”
Because children can be so good at masking their pain, it’s important to look for these red flags:
- 无法解释的伤害：割伤，瘀伤和划痕
- 身体症状：频繁的头痛或胃痛，感到生病或伪性，睡眠困难或噩梦
- 损坏的财产：Torn, damaged or missing pieces of clothing, books and other belongings
- Changes to eating habits:突然开始跳过饭或暴饮暴食
- 学者的下降：Difficulty focusing on schoolwork, loss of interest in school or not wanting to go to school and a sudden drop in grades
- Vanishing friendships:A sudden loss of friends or avoidance of social situations
- 行为改变：Withdrawals from activities they used to enjoy, decreased self-esteem, destructive behavior,self-harmor谈论自杀
“It’s important to note that while bullying can occur to anyone and for any reason, some groups, such asLGBTQ+的孩子and those who have certain disabilities and are socially isolated, may be at an increased risk of being bullied,” Dr. Adelayo said. “While this may not always be the reason why they are being targeted, it’s important to keep in mind when you’re looking for possible signs and causes of bullying.”
如果我的孩子被欺负，我该怎么办？
如果您确定自己的孩子受到同龄人的虐待，则可以采取一些步骤来帮助您的孩子。
Listen and validate
成为一个善良的善解人意的听众是您作为父母角色的重要组成部分。当您的孩子对学校发生的事情打开时，请专心地倾听并保持支持并避免任何情感或膝盖的反应。取而代之的是，提出问题以收集细节，并感谢您的孩子有勇气与您谈论发生了什么。
不要把事情掌握在自己的手中……
大多数学校非常重视欺凌,但性能试验ore you run out to tell the teacher or principal, ask if your child wants you to reach out to the school. They may fear retaliation or may want to talk to the school on their own. Follow their lead but remind them of the importance of letting someone know at the school, so it can be documented and addressed appropriately. If no progress is made, step in and let the appropriate people know at your child’s school.
Develop pro social skills
与您的孩子讨论下一次遇到恶霸时，他们可以适当地做出反应。无论是用他们的声音说“不”或“停止”，走开，还是找到可以提供帮助的值得信赖的成年人。一旦您掌握了技能，角色扮演“如果”方案。
阿德雷奥博士说：“对他们来说，重要的是要站起来，不要让某人让他们感到不想感受的方式。”“不要让欺负者从他们身上崛起。”
增强您的孩子的信心
鼓励您的孩子参加活动或社交聚会，以提高孩子的自尊心和福祉。
与行为健康专家交谈
Contact a licensed behavioral health specialistif your child’s reactions become extreme or you’re struggling to get them to open up about what’s happening to them.
阿德莱博士说：“欺凌会以多种方式影响您的孩子。”“即使他们没有表现出向外的迹象，也永远不会低估欺凌的力量。孩子们可以采取巨大措施，而无需承认亲人的伤害。”
为了获得额外的支持，阿德莱博博士为儿童和父母提供了以下资源：
- stopbullying.gov
- PACER’s National Bullying Prevention Center
- Thoughts of suicide? Contact横幅行为健康在602-254-4357或民族自杀预防生命线在800-273-8255。
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