How do you respond when someone you care about is hurting?
你说：
A.“I’m sorry you’re in pain.”
B.“我知道你是多么感觉。我也在那里。“
C.“我可以看到你的痛苦，我怎么能帮忙？”
Life can be hard—and at times, very hard. And sometimes, it can be even harder to watch someone go through something challenging than experiencing it yourself. Are you a friend who deeply internalizes the painful experiences of others, or do you keep those emotions at an arm’s distance?
Words like sympathy andempathydescribe the nuanced differences between the very complex social connections and reactions we display when we’re suffering or when we see others in pain.
While these words are related, they mean very different things and the behaviors we mirror of them are different, too.
“The crucial difference is that sympathy acknowledges another’s pain, but empathy is choosing to feel another’s pain with them,” said Jerimya Fox, a licensed professional counselor and a doctor of behavioral health atBanner Behavioral Health Hospital. “Sympathy says, ‘I’m sorry,’ whereas empathy says, ‘I’m hurting with you.’”
Here’s a deeper breakdown of the two.
Sympathy: “I’m sorry you’re in pain.”
同情是你关心的感觉，对某人的悲伤，不幸或损失感到遗憾。虽然你表达了悲伤，但你明显地让自己的情绪与另一个人的感觉分开。基本上，你可以争取斗争和对他们的感觉，但不必情绪化地走在鞋子里。悲伤是一种更逻辑的和理性的回应，即使你的反应对他们悲伤也是如此。
“Sympathy is often given when you might not relate to or fully comprehend what the other person is dealing with,” Dr. Fox said. “For example, feeling concerned about有癌症的朋友当你以前没有个人体验时，这种治疗效果很好。“
Empathy: “I know how you’re feeling. I’ve been there too.”
Have you walked a mile in someone else’s shoes? This is empathy.
“与同情心，你把自己放在别人的鞋子里，通过他们的眼睛看待事物 - 福克斯博士说，通过他们的眼睛看待他们的眼睛 - 而不是对他们感到不好的意义。”“例如，我对一名加入课程的新学生，我有同情心，因为我曾经是年中学的新小孩。”
同理心是能够意识到和对他人的感受，思想和经验敏感 - 过去或现在 - 即使你实际上从未感受到，想过或经历过他们。您能够为他人的感受创建和保持空间，这反过来可以创建与他们的共享体验和更深入的连接。
Sympathy vs. empathy: Is one better than the other?
Based on the descriptions of sympathy and empathy, one might consider empathy better than sympathy. I mean, who doesn’t want to be comforted and consoled versus feeling like others are just pitying them?
But Dr. Fox noted that there can be cases where neither sympathy nor empathy is the ideal choice.
For example, someone who is deeply empathetic often takes on the emotions of other people, which can cause issues. If you’re attempting to support someone angry or upset, you aren’t helping them by empathizing and becoming anxious and angry yourself. In this situation, your friend may need someone calm, logical and levelheaded, rather than sharing in fear and frustration.
“We see this a lot in health care workers where it can be emotionally and physically exhausting,” Dr. Fox. “They may experience what we callcompassion fatigue syndrome。“
On the other hand, it may be easier to be sympathetic—especially in work situations or with someone you aren’t intimately connected with—but in some situations, it can hinder you from deeper connections with others.
What about compassion: “I can see you’re in pain, how can I help?”
Both empathy and sympathy come from a place of sincerity, which are both expressions of compassion, or “feeling concern for someone else and wanting to help them,” Dr. Fox said.
“The distinction is that being compassionate doesn’t require you to share in someone’s feelings,” he said. “It’s the ability and willingness to stand alongside someone and put their needs before your own.”
有时同情是只是持有空间的形式，并为某人出席，有时它意味着做一些可行的事情，例如带一顿饭。
The greatest benefit to compassion is that it is replenishable. When you have the ability to feel concerned for someone and help them, you are less likely to burn out.
建立你的同理心，同情和同情肌肉
有些原因有些人比其他人更加善意，同情或同情，但如果你在这些中的任何一个都缩短，那么就可以发展的技能。
以下是您可以采取的一些步骤：
- 积极地倾听别人
- 保持好奇心
- Talk with people from different walks of life, cultures and upbringings
- Seek help from family, friends or abehavioral health specialist
如果你在情感上挣扎着与他人联系或承受着别人的重量，请不要犹豫，伸向一个值得信赖的朋友或行为健康专家，他们可以通过这些挑战来帮助你进程和工作。到vwin.comac德赢官方首页 near you, visit bannerhealth.com.
For more support tips, check out:
- Work Burnout: Steps to Identify and Stop the Career Killer
- Help a Friend Suffering from Domestic Abuse
- How to Help a Friend Who’s Self-Harming
- How to Stop Overthinking and Defeat Decision Fatigue
