No relationship is without conflict. Even the healthiest relationships will have some friction from time to time. While it’s natural not to see eye-to-eye with your partner, it’s how you handle those disagreements that can determine whether it helps or harms your relationship.
When you and your partner are faced with a conflict,do you calmly hash it outor does one partner stonewall, or give the silent treatment?
尽管石墙似乎是解决关系中问题的一种无害策略，但它可能会产生灾难性的影响，甚至可能是离婚的途径。但是，双方都有希望。
We dive into what stonewalling is, the signs to look out for and how to break down this wall that’s dividing your relationship.
What does it mean to stonewall someone?
In simple terms, stonewalling is when someone completely shuts down in a conversation or refuses to interact with another person.
“这是一种自愿回应，旨在结束对话或触发情感动荡或不适的情况，从而产生压倒性的生理反应，”医学博士Srinivas Dannaram说，他是一位精神病医师。Banner Thunderbird Medical Centerin Glendale, AZ. “This is a state where the person stonewalling is either confused or shocked by a conversation or a set of questions.”
Oftentimes, stonewalling is quite noticeable in relationships. However, there are times when stonewalling may go unnoticed—especially if neither partner is aware of their behaviors.
How can I tell if I’m being stonewalled by my partner?
一个人可以以几种不同的方式踩踏。如果您不确定您的伴侣是否在墙壁墙壁，请注意以下一些迹象：
- 他们在谈话的中间走出来，没有警告或解释
- 他们拒绝谈论或给出理由不要谈论问题
- 他们驳斥了您的担忧
- 他们从事被动攻击类型的行为
- 他们改变主题或指控避免问题
- They give you the silent treatment, avoiding nonverbal communication such as making eye contact with you
What if I am stonewalling my partner?
When you’re on the receiving end of stonewalling, it may be more obvious to notice the effects their behavior has on you. But what if you’re the one refusing to cooperate? Here’s how to tell if you tend to stonewall:
- You avoid conflicts and arguments in any possible way
- 当您的伴侣解决问题时，您会变得非常防御
- You hide your true feelings and opinions
- You have a hard time admitting when you’re wrong
How is stonewalling different from gaslighting?
Stonewalling and gaslighting are both tactics to prevent healthy conversations and can cause a lot of pain, but the intent behind them is quite different.
“Stonewalling is actually a learned defense mechanism that might stem from an unpleasant emotional or physical reaction someone has experienced in the past. Or your partner may simply not be able to express how they feel so instead they shut down,” Dr. Dannaram said. “Gaslighting, on the other hand, is a deliberate effort to manipulate and hurt others. It’s an intentional form of emotional abuse.”
[Check out “迹象表明您可能是气灯的受害者” to learn what to look for.]
石墙对人际关系的负面影响是什么？
The effects of stonewalling are disastrous for not only the receiver but also the partner who’s stonewalling.
因为那个被墙壁墙的人可能会让他们感到困惑，伤害和愤怒。它可能会使他们的自尊心疲惫，使他们感到毫无价值或无望。
For the person stonewalling, they also suffer as they are denying themselves emotional intimacy with their partner.
对于这对夫妇来说，石墙可以在他们的关系中建立巨大的鸿沟，造成严重的婚姻困扰，冲突和破坏。
你怎样处理石墙在吗your relationship?
If stonewalling is occurring in your relationship, the best thing to do is to face it head-on as a couple and not bury your heads in the sand. To make your relationship work, you need to work together. To do this, you’ll both need to learn how to communicate more effectively. This situation is one wherecouples counselingcan help.
“Whether you or your loved one is stonewalling, if frequent episodes lead to escalated misunderstandings and miscommunication that affects trust in your relationship, then professional help can help assess and address those communication issues,” Dr. Dannaram said.
获得夫妻咨询可以帮助您学习健康的沟通方式，并可能有助于加强整个关系。
If you need some relationship guidance, you can寻找横幅行为健康专家at bannerhealth.com.
最后一句话
不要忘记，无论您的伴侣对您有多重要以及您有多爱他们，您的关系永远不会免疫冲突。当适当和适当地处理时，您的关系差异可以帮助您和您的关系增长。
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