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帮助!我的孩子是个恶霸,我该怎么办?

恶霸。我们在电视和电影中看到了它们,并且在童年甚至工作场所或育儿小组中可能遇到了一些。它们具有各种形式和大小,来自各种背景和成长,甚至来自养育家庭。但是当你会发生什么encounter a bully在你自己的屋顶下,你的孩子?

作为父母,您可能会震惊地得知您的孩子有意造成另一个孩子或孩子的痛苦和屈辱。实际上,您可能有点防御性。您的孩子怎么会这样做?

为什么孩子欺负?

通常,人们认为欺凌者是“坏人”。但是,这样做的一件事是否认他们仍然是可以学习和成长的人,最重要的是,有能力改变。甚至人物喜欢里贾纳·乔治(Regina George)or Nelson from “The Simpsons” who are the archetypes of a bully have insecurities, may be hurting or are not having certain needs met at home or at school.

“Oftentimes bullying is a result of low self-esteem or learned behaviors,” said Adeola Adelayo, MD, a practicing psychiatrist with横幅行为健康医院。“They may lack attention at home or at school or may even be bullied themselves at home by a sibling or parent.”

The good news is that all is not lost with a child who bullies. And as a parent, you can play a very important role. As hard as it may be to swallow that jagged little pill, you can help your child learn new ways to handle their feelings and conflict with others in more appropriate ways.

Adelayo博士分享了以下技巧,以帮助改变孩子的欺凌行为。

How to help a child who bullies

认真对待。如果您从老师或父母那里听到您的孩子正在欺凌或参与欺凌类型的行为,请始终认真对待 - 这包括他们参与团体欺凌的情况,或者没有采取任何措施来阻止他人的骚扰或痛苦。

阿德莱博士说:“在这个时代,沉默已不再是可以接受的。”“年轻人为这种行为而自杀。我们不能坐下来让这种情况发生。我们必须站起来为别人说话。”

沟通是关键。Talk to your child and find out why they are bullying. Dr. Adelayo suggested starting with something like, “I got a call today that you were involved in some bullying. I’m really concerned. Can you tell me what happened?”

找出原因。了解原因可以帮助您进行干预。给您的孩子说话的空间,并确保他们知道自己可以坦率,即使扳机来自您的家。

“The bullying behavior could be a result of low self-esteem,depression, anxiety,是在家中发生的事情的结果,例如离婚或substance abuse,”阿德莱奥博士说。“这有助于找出问题的根源,以便您可以适当地解决该行为。”

适当地址。说明您孩子的行为和行为对他人造成了伤害。诸如姓名,戏弄,击打,网络欺凌或传播谣言之类的事情是不可接受的。特别是对于年幼的孩子,他们需要知道伤害另一个孩子是不可接受的。与您的孩子谈谈适当和不合适的事物之间的差异。

给予后果。如果你的孩子是engaged in cyberbullying,这可能意味着他们失去所有技术的使用ir phones, iPads and computers – for a period of time. For other minor offenses, it may be electronics or certain privileges for a certain time until they start showing more pro-social type behavior.

教亲社会行为。Address their social skills by helping them learn essential skills, like how to have appropriate conversations with others, how to respectfully greet people they encounter (even if they aren’t friends) and work on things like self-esteem, positive coping mechanisms and what positive relationships look like. In addition, it can be helpful for your child to apologize for their actions.

Monitor their behavior.与学校保持开放的沟通,并注意欺凌的迹象。这可能意味着与老师跟进,看看情况如何,如果您的孩子在学校和其他人表现出亲社会类型的行为,他们在家中得到了很多赞美。

考虑咨询。If you feel your child could benefit from speaking with someone else, schedule an appointment with a licensed behavioral health specialist. Don’t wait for repeated patterns of bullying to occur.

阿德雷奥博士说:“有时候,这对那些感觉不足或对父母不愿意开放的孩子可能会有所帮助。”“有时,这种方法使孩子们可以公开谈论自己的感受,而不会让父母发疯,悲伤或沮丧。”

vwin.comac德赢官方首页 在你附近,访问bannerhealth.com。此外,这里有一些tips to find the right therapist for you and your child

有关预防欺凌的更多信息,请查看以下其他资源:

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育儿 Children's Health 行为健康

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